Do you always say yes to people even when you dont want to Experts tell Tanya Datta how to walk the talk .
Is it common for you that you are trying to squeeze in time for yourself in between tight deadlines and long working hours Well then all you need to do is learn the gentle art of saying no! Most often than not,just to do well in our lives and be in the good books of everyone,whether it is our personal or professional space,we end up taking a lot more than we can handle.And saying no can be very difficult for people with low self esteem,who lack an assertive nature and want to meet everyones expectations.
KNOW YOUR PRIORITIES You might be having too much on your to-do list,but that does not mean you let things control your life.Rather you should be the captain of your own ship.Learning how to organise your priorities might seem a herculean task but this is the first step towards having a grip on your life.Says Prabhakar Diwedi,an HR professional,I learnt my lesson the hard way.I had this habit of taking on a lot of responsibilities thinking I could handle everything easily.Before I knew it,people were piling up things on me seeing my track record of taking on things without any problem.This habit of mine backfired and somehow I managed to put a stop on it by simply declining things. Prabhakars mornings and nights were spent in the office doing work meant for other people.He learnt that it is best to negotiate things rather than completely declining offers.
BE FIRM IN YOUR APPROACH Clinical psychologist and psychotherapist,Dr Veena Chakravarthy says,You need to be firm in your approach.One cannot possibly please everyone everytime.You have to realise that it is not the person you are turning down,whether it is your friend,relative or colleague,it is the idea or situation that you are not comfortable with.Everyone is entitled to have their own choice and opinions.You need to see how you can actually contribute to the bigger picture and if you are doing justice to yourself and your work.
DIPLOMACY AT ITS BEST You can say what you feel but when you add a tinge of diplomacy it will do you more good than anything else.You have to remember one thing that you do not owe anyone any explanations.The decision should be upto you and after saying so there is no need to fret about what the other person will think about you.For Ananya Deshmukh,a banker,who started off with her career did not turn down anything fearing she may miss out on an opportunity.It was when she started missing her deadlines and her work started getting affected that she realised what went wrong,I was very enthusiastic when I started off.So I never said no to my seniors just in the hope that they will be impressed with me and my capabilities.But it was only time that made me realise what I had gotten myself into.With so much work on hand I started missing deadlines and my work used to be anything but perfect.
ALWAYS SAYING YES ISNT HEALTHY Clinical psychologist and psychotherapist Dr Rachna Kothari feels that one has to envisage the negative repercussions of saying yes all the time,If you say yes to things you already know are beyond your reach,control or capability;then you might be more prone to stress after committing the same.You then end up having a double problem! First,you said a yes instead of a no and second you need to make that yes possible. She also advises that you need to pause,think and then answer.Eat only what your stomach can digest otherwise chances of throwing-up are more.
Top 10 tips for learning the Gentle Art of Saying No
1. Value your time
2. Know your priorities
3. Practice saying no
4. Do not apologise
5. Stop being nice
6. Say no to your boss
7. Try per-empting requests
8. Get back to you
9. Maybe later
10. Its not you,its me
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